


Love Ain't

by moonstruckbucky



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 09:06:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18688396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonstruckbucky/pseuds/moonstruckbucky





	Love Ain't

_Hotels are made for two night stays_  
Checking in and out  
Meeting strangers in the lobby  
Waking up and leaving town  
The next day  
But love ain’t

Music played quietly in the kitchen, an uplifting yet soothing classical tune that was meant to inspire love and romance. Instead, it only served as a horrible reminder that you’d be spending your anniversary all alone. Your boyfriend was working late, though that was hardly a surprise anymore. He spent more time at the precinct more than he did at home nowadays, and while a small part of you still had faith that it didn’t have anything to do with his new _female_  partner, an even larger part was harshly chastising you for being so naive.

It was supposed to be your five-year anniversary today, but, like the many planned date nights before, your boyfriend had conveniently forgotten.

Or he just didn’t care anymore.

It was that crippling thought that finally forced the tears out of your eyes. Dropping your face into your hands, you sobbed over the dinner you’d tired over all day, your heart thudding painfully in your chest as it broke. Dinner had gone cold in the hour since you’d sat down at the table, hoping, fruitlessly you would later admit, that maybe, just maybe, he’d be home on time.

By 9 PM, there was still no sign of him, and your self-pity had gone dry. Sniffling, you shoved back from the table and picked up your empty plate and his full one, scraping the wasted food into the trash can, and set the dishes in the sink. You’d deal with them later.

For now, you needed a heavy drink, and there was only one place on your mind.

 _And whiskey’s poured for when you’re bored_  
And alone on Friday night  
When you want to lose yourself  
And need a place to hide  
From all the pain  
But love ain’t

Fury’s was a little dive bar downtown, owned by a former war veteran with an eye patch. You’d been coming here for years since college; you and your friends would frequent the place on Friday nights even though the place was hardly bustling with people. But it was perfect for your small group when you needed to cut loose. The drinks were strong and the occasional live band was worthy of dancing.

It was crowded tonight, not unusual on a Thursday night. Most of the patrons were college-aged, taking advantage of “Thirsty Thursdays”. Groups gathered around the pool tables, others sat at high top tables, and the rest milled around the hardwood floor or the shiny bar. Finding an empty seat at the bar, you hopped up onto a bar stool and shed your jacket.

“What the hell are you doing here?” a painfully familiar voice asked. Biting back a wince, your eyes lifted to the bartender’s.

Bucky Barnes was an unlikely friend. You’d known him since your college years when you and your friends would come into Fury’s and raise hell. He was a large man, handsome and built like a brick house, but contrastingly kind, soft, and sometimes shy. 

He was propping himself on the bar on his muscular forearms, which were bare thanks to the tight black t-shirt he was almost always wearing, the corded muscles rippling as they flexed. His expression was pinched in sympathy, but his jaw was tight.

You only offered him a sad smile and a shrug. Bucky knew of your predicament—you spent more time in this bar than was necessary, and it worried him. Sighing through his nose, he reached overhead for a martini glass, prepared to fix your regular. But you stopped him with a shake of your head.

“Whiskey, on the rocks please,” you croaked, voice thick and scratchy from your earlier sob fest. Seconds later a glass with ice appeared in front of you, and Bucky tipped a bottle of the amber liquid, filling it nearly to the brim. “Thanks, Buck.”

“Isn’t it your anniversary?” he asked gently, not wanting to upset you even more.

“News to me,” you mumbled before taking a heavy pull from the glass. The whiskey burned on the way down, and you didn’t bother to hide the flinch as it settled warmly in your stomach.

Bucky’s shoulders slumped and a muscle in his jaw ticked. “Why do you stay? You deserve better, Y/N.”

You’d learned how to tune Bucky out. It wasn’t that he was wrong—because, in all honesty, he had never been more right—but it was heart-stompingly painful to admit it out loud to anyone. Especially your attractive bartender friend.

“Not now, Buck, please.”

Something in your tone, the exhaustion or the unwillingness to see reason just yet maybe, had his eyes softening considerably. He nodded slowly and held up a finger, moved just down the bar to tend to another waiting patron.

 _Love ain’t you on a sidewalk in your new dress all alone_  
Love ain’t you calling me ‘cause he ain’t picking up his phone  
The way you’re talking sounds like he’s somebody you should hate  
I may not know what love is girl, but I know what love ain’t  
Come over let me show you what he can’t  
'Cause he can only show you what love ain’t

It was Date Night, and your boyfriend had, miraculously, shown up on time to take you out to a nice dinner. You’d bought a new dress the week before for the occasion, and hope had blossomed in your chest when he spent the first twenty minutes apologizing for missing your anniversary.

It was almost sincere enough to make you forget.

Yet somehow, disaster had struck about halfway through dinner. You’d made a comment about his new partner, and he’d flown off the handle. Accusing you of making wild accusations, claiming he wasn’t that type of man and she wasn’t that type of woman. There used to be days where he’d defend you so passionately; now you’d become the enemy.

It shocked you when he left the table in the middle of dinner, left the restaurant, and peeled out of the parking lot in his truck. Leaving you with the bill, no ride home, and a shattered heart.

Sitting alone, crying, at the table had garnered you a few looks, but after settling the bill, you ignored them as you walked out to the parking lot. The pavement was wet from the day’s rain, and you hoped that the weather would hold off while you walked home.

Your feet were sore from your heels, so you took them off, sighing at the relief you found in the coldness of the sidewalk. While your heart was hurting, your mind was reeling, spinning, diving, whirling, until it finally resigned itself to the fact that it was tired of trying to talk sense into your heart. For once, your brain would win out.

Your relationship had been over well before tonight, and you’d been stupid not to see it.

The sound of some out-of-time music drifted up the street until the car it was coming from stopped beside you.

“Y/N?”

Stopping in your tracks, you squeezed your eyes shut. _Not now, please._ And yet, there was Bucky, leaning over the center console, eyes wide with worry.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked loudly, incredulous at what he was seeing.

“Walking,” you heard yourself snap before you could stop it. It wasn’t Bucky’s fault, but his timing needed serious work.

“I can see that but why? Can I give you a ride home?”

That made you pause. No doubt your boyfriend had locked the front door, and your keys were on a hook beside it in the foyer. It was nearly enough to make you cry again but you wouldn’t, not in front of Bucky.

“I…” you trailed off, finally meeting his eyes helplessly. His jaw muscle was at work again, clenching and unclenching, and he threw the car in park. Getting out, he rounded the front of the car and stripped off his jacket.

“Come on, I’ve got you,” he hummed quietly, draping the jacket over your shoulders. You closed your eyes against the warmth. His arm was heavy around your shoulder as he steered you to the passenger side. “You can stay with me.”

 _Sad movies are for crying on the couch_  
There in the dark  
That sad song it was written  
Just to try and get your heart to break  
But love ain’t

The ride to Bucky’s apartment was silent and riddled with tension. Bucky’s hands were tight on the steering wheel as he held himself back from driving to your house just so he could rip your boyfriend limb from limb. Meanwhile, you had slouched down in the seat and pulled Bucky’s jacket tighter around you, tucking your nose into it and inhaling quietly. His scent was comforting.

“I’m ending it,” you murmured once you were seated on Bucky’s couch. He lowered himself onto the cushion beside you and held out a hot mug of tea. He stayed quiet, knowing you needed to come to terms with this even though he’d known it since you met the douche.

“It’s obvious we’re no longer right for each other.” At this, Bucky scoffed quietly. Nibbling on your lip, you huffed a mirthless laugh. “I don’t deserve this. Any of it. I’ve been so….unwilling to see it because I was afraid of being alone again. But I’ve never felt more alone than I do now.”

Bucky’s hand was warm as it reached for your free one. “You’ve never been alone, Y/N. You’ve always had me.”

You smiled softly, eyes finding his. “I suppose I have. I’m not sure how you’ve managed to keep quiet for so long. I know I must have sounded like a broken record.”

Bucky chuckled. “It was really hard keeping my mouth shut sometimes but I figured this was one thing you needed to work out on your own.”

“I’m glad you let me have that, Buck. You’ve been such a great friend to me these past years. I don’t know how to repay you for that.”

Bucky’s face fell. “The thing is, you don’t have to. Repay me, you know? I’m supposed to be there for you. And I will be, always. I will say I won’t be sad to not have to see that asshole’s face again.”

You giggled quietly, setting your empty mug down and curling your feet up under you. Leaning an elbow on your leg, you propped your head up on your hand. “You weren’t very subtle how you felt about him when you met him.”

He grimaced. “He was a douchebag from the minute I saw him. Plus he groped you in the middle of the bar.”

“Ugh, I remember that. After we left he made up some bullshit excuse about claiming his territory.” You scrunched up your face.

“Why would he possibly feel the need?” Bucky rolled his eyes to the ceiling, letting his head tip back onto the back of the couch.

“I don’t know,” you responded with a shrug. “I think he thought you had a thing for me so he was just….setting boundaries I guess.”

Bucky stayed quiet for a long time, lost in his head. He hoped he hadn’t made it obvious, but if the oblivious jackass that was your boyfriend had figured it out, what was to say _you_  hadn’t? Suddenly Bucky grew nervous being alone with you, talking and sitting close to one another. It felt far more intimate than any of your other interactions.

 _Love ain’t you on a sidewalk in your new dress all alone_  
Love ain’t you calling me 'cause he ain’t picking up his phone  
The way you’re talking sounds like he’s somebody you should hate  
I may not know what love is girl, but I know what love ain’t  
Come over let me show you what he can’t  
'Cause he can only show you what love ain’t

“Bucky?”

Your voice snapped him out of his head and slowly his eyes slid to you. You were looking at him in concern, your eyes bright despite your current predicament, bottom lip pulled between your teeth. Inhaling deeply, he let it out through his nose and dropped his eyes to his empty mug, opting to toy with the string on his tea bag—the tea he’d bought purposely for you and no one else. Normally he didn’t touch the stuff, but he knew it was your go-to stress-reliever.

_Now or never._

“He wasn’t wrong,” he muttered before he could back out. In your close proximity he heard your breath catch. Blue eyes found yours again, and they were waiting for him to continue. “The first time you walked into Fury’s, you were with Nat and Wanda and Sam. You wore this deep burgundy dress and all I could think was how well it brought out your eyes. Sam challenged you to a game of pool, but you were so bad, but you were smiling the whole time and I thought there was nothing brighter than that, your smile. Not even the sun. You had me from that very first day, and even though you met King Asshole, I was happy just being your friend, just having you in my life. Then when you guys had that first fight, and you came into Fury’s, makeup all runny and looking about ready to kill, I forced myself to just stay out of it, to not run back to your apartment and toss your idiot boyfriend out a window for hurting you. I waited for you, Y/N, for five and a half years, I waited, and now that you’re here, I’m still going to wait because I know you need time to heal and figure yourself out before you can move on. But I’m going to be here for you, with you, whenever you need me. And I’m not letting you slip through my fingers again.”

Bucky’s heart was racing in his chest as the silence enveloped the two of you. He’d started off looking at you, but as he spoke his gaze trailed down, to his mug, his lap, the carpet, anywhere but you as he spilled his guts to you. Nerves catching like wildfire, he snapped his eyes to yours and his heart nearly stopped.

You had a hand over your mouth, eyes squeezed shut, and tears carving fresh tracks down your face. Immediately, guilt threatened to swallow him up. How could he be so selfish to dump so much on you _the day_  you finally decide to leave your boyfriend? What special kind of asshole was he to assume any of that would be okay? He hated himself and it took great physical restraint not to whip his mug at the wall.

“Bucky….” Your voice pulled him out of his thoughts again.

 _I wonder what he’s doing_  
(Love ain’t) feeling like a fool  
And you can’t  
Keep letting him do it to you

“I had no idea,” you mumbled, eyes opening slowly. Your eyelashes were glistening with tears, and Bucky was furious with himself for putting them there.

“Look, I-I’m sorry. Y/N. I shouldn’t have—that was selfish of me to just throw all of that on you, tonight especially. I-I can take you home now.”

“Bucky.” His name on your lips stopped his anxious tirade, so he settled for bouncing his leg. He just about died when a beautiful smile curled your mouth and your eyes found his. “You don’t need to apologize for that. You know why? Because to be honest, I had a huge crush on you when we first met, but I thought you were so far out of my league, so I never tried anything. I’ll admit my feelings for you faded a bit once I found….King Asshole as you so eloquently put it, but….I’m not necessarily opposed to the idea of giving this a try. With you.”

“You-you aren’t?”

You smiled again and shook your head. “No, I’m not. But I will ask for….a little time, you know? Everything is still so fresh but.”

Bucky’s hands shot forward, grabbing at yours. “You can have all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere. And really, I’m just….kind of in shock I guess that you would even think that I’m out of your league. Have you looked in a mirror? God, you’re stunning! And smart, and witty, and you have a wild sense of humor. And you—” He stopped when you placed a hand over his lips, a blush creeping up your neck.

“Thank you for all the compliments Buck, but you’re stroking my ego a little bit too much okay? Why don’t we put on a movie? If it’s all right, I don’t really want to go home just yet…. Only if I’m not imposing.”

“You could never,” Bucky replied with a grin. “Let me get you some clothes to sleep in and then maybe we can watch the new Prometheus movie, yeah?”

“Sounds perfect.”

 _'Cause love ain’t you on a sidewalk in your new dress all alone_  
Love ain’t you calling me 'cause he ain’t picking up his phone  
The way you’re talking sounds like he’s somebody you should hate  
I may not know what love is girl, but I know what love ain’t  
I may not know what love is girl, but I know what love ain’t  
Come over let me show you what he can’t  
'Cause he can only show you what love ain’t  
Love ain’t (Love ain’t) yeah yeah  
(Love ain’t) Love ain’t


End file.
